Our grandson turned 5 on Saturday. I’d love to say that I can’t believe time is passing this fast, but life feels a bit like being on a train right now. I turn 60 his year and Eric is nearing a decision about receiving a Social Security check. I’m pretty sure Zander will be graduating high school if I take too long to blink. I am keeping my eyes open, so I don’t miss anything!
This leads me to Zander’s party…and needing some opinions on party protocol in a park. Are there any? Let me provide some context. We’ve had several parties in the same park. It’s a little hidden and usually not very crowded. My DIL rents a large gazebo with 6 picnic tables. There is a playground right next to the gazebo that is still open to whomever happens to be there. At Saturday’s party, she also rented an inflatable Bounce House, which was situated about ten feet from the gazebo…close enough to be understood that it was being used by the party.
At the beginning of the celebration, we were the only ones at the park. Then another group of about 8 adults and 10 kids walked past us to grab a patch of grass on the other side of the playground. We didn’t really pay attention as we did not rent an entire park – just the gazebo and room for the Bounce House. Or, let me clarify that…we didn’t pay attention until we realized that 4 kids were now roaming through the gazebo and trying to get into the Bounce House. I spoke to my DIL about her feelings regarding other kids, and we agreed that there was a certain liability to not knowing the parents that made us feel uncomfortable. I walked over to talk to the parents. I explained that we didn’t feel comfortable having other children at the party. We also didn’t have enough supplies for an additional ten children and felt that we would need to invite not only their children but any others at the playground if we opened it up to everyone.
One of the parents stated that they didn’t realize that the children were there and came over to ask them to go back to the playground.
Until the piñata came out.
That’s when it got reallllllllly weird and uncomfortable. We had several parents and about 5 kids from the other group lined up about five feet from the piñata all watching. They literally came out of the playground to line up to watch.
Did I mention that I had verbalized that we didn’t have an endless amount of party supplies? The kids at the party took turns swinging while the line of adults and children from the other party stood by. On a side note, my DIL made the piñata. It was shaped as a number 5 and pretty darn impressive! She made it out of a box. A really strong one. It took a high-school student to bust that sucker open. He broke the stick in the process which went flying over by the line of observers. Fortunately, no one was hit with it…nor did anyone move.
With the piñata broken open, the kids from the party ran up with their bags, grabbing treats. We did not ask the other party to jump in, since we had already discussed this with the parents. So…guess what happened? Several of the children started crying as they walked away, undoubtedly being told that we were just mean people.
After talking to a friend that was there, she let us know that some of the parents were just dropping their kids off at the Bounce House as they walked by. She just thought they were part of our group until she noticed them across the park. One of the kids hanging out in the gazebo could not have been older than 4 years old. She was closer to the parking lot than to her parents. And she was hanging out in a group of people that her parents don’t know. This is what has been the most disconcerting to me.
So, here I am. Left feeling icky. What is the protocol? Do you invite everyone at the park and just hope for the best? Do you bring enough supplies for an extra 20 people? Or do you have a conversation with parents and then hope they respect the boundaries enough to not line their kids up in front of the party? I felt really bad for the kids. They were not being disrespectful or a challenge at all, and had the parents come over to ask us first, we might have had a different outcome.
On a day when we were there to celebrate our grandson’s birthday, a happy occasion, we were left feeling sad for a group of kids that were not included. Again, this was not because we were trying to be mean, but in the very litigious world that we live in, we were trying to be wise. I am open for input on how this could have been handled better and would love to hear your thoughts.
Preferably before October when the next birthday party hits…
Mothering, Marriage and Menopause 